The Power of Presence

Let’s talk heart to heart—about something that speaks volumes without saying a word: presence. You know it when you feel it. Someone walks in the room, and without even opening their mouth, you can feel their quiet strength, their grounded energy. It’s not arrogance. It’s assurance. It’s confidence. But let’s be honest—confidence can get shaken, especially when you’ve lived through hard things.

If you’ve walked through trauma or battled PTSD, you know how that inner light can dim. You start questioning everything—your worth, your voice, your place in the world. I’ve been there.

But here’s what I hold onto:“For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” — 2 Timothy 1:7 (NLT)

That scripture is more than a memory verse. It’s truth. It’s hope. It’s a reminder that no matter how broken we feel, God’s given us what we need to rise—power to move forward, love to heal, and discipline to stay the course. 

My Story

I don’t share this lightly.
When I was just four years old, my parents divorced. I didn’t understand everything, but I felt the tension—the silence, the sadness, the confusion. And somewhere deep inside, a lie took root: “This is my fault.”

That belief became a shadow. It followed me through childhood, into adulthood. Any time someone seemed disappointed in me, I’d carry the blame. When relationships fell apart, I didn’t just grieve—I blamed myself. I kept thinking, Maybe I’m not enough. Maybe I’m the problem.

I didn’t realize I was dealing with unresolved trauma—and it was playing out in my mind as shame, self-doubt, and insecurity. I started shrinking, not because I lacked value, but because I didn’t know how to carry the weight I never should’ve picked up in the first place.

Healing came slowly. It started when I got honest—with myself and with God. Through prayer, counseling, community, and lots of grace, I started replacing guilt with truth. I learned I wasn’t responsible for what happened to me—but I could choose how I moved forward.

I’m not perfect. I still have moments. But today, I walk with confidence—not because I’ve arrived, but because I’ve done the work to heal.

I’m still healing. Still growing. Still showing up. But I’m no longer shrinking. I’m present.  

When Triggers Steal Your Presence

Even after healing, triggers can still catch us off guard. Maybe it’s a certain tone. A phrase. Or worse—silence. (If you know, you know: the silent treatment is its own kind of trauma.)

And suddenly, you’re not just responding to now—you’re reacting to all the past moments it reminds you of. Your heart races. Your voice fades. You pull back. And sometimes, you can’t even name why.

I’ve been there too—sitting in a room full of people, full of ideas, full of potential—but too scared to speak. Not because I didn’t have a voice. But because something inside me still said, “Don’t risk it.”

That’s how presence gets blocked. Not by a lack of ability, but by emotional landmines that make us feel unsafe in places where we should feel free.

But here’s the truth: you don’t have to stay stuck. Triggers aren’t your destiny. They’re clues. Clues that healing is still unfolding. And you’re strong enough to face them.  

5 Ways to Reclaim Your Confidence and Presence

1. Notice the Trigger
   Don’t avoid it—acknowledge it. When something causes you to pull back, pause and ask why.

   “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.” — Psalm 139:23 (NLT)

2. Speak Truth to the Lies
   The voice in your head might say, “I’m not enough.” But that’s not what God says. Start swapping lies with truth.

   “Let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think.” — Romans 12:2 (NLT)

3. Show Up Anyway
   Even if your hands shake, even if your voice cracks. Presence is built in the showing up.

   “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid... for the Lord your God goes with you.” — Deuteronomy 31:6 (NIV)

4. Root Your Identity in God
   Your story matters, but it doesn’t define you. Who God says you are is your anchor.

   “You are fearfully and wonderfully made.” — Psalm 139:14 (NIV)

5. Give Yourself Grace
   This journey takes time. There’s no fast-forward. But each step forward is proof you’re healing.

   “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” — 2 Corinthians 12:9 (NLT). 

   
   

   
   

   
   
   
   
   

   Final Thoughts

   Listen—if you’ve been carrying the weight of your past, let me say this: you are not disqualified. You’re not broken beyond repair. Your presence is still powerful. Your story still matters.

   Trauma may have shaped you—but it doesn’t have to define you. Triggers may visit—but they don’t get to take up residence.

   God gave you a spirit of power, love, and a sound mind—and it’s time to own that. Show up, even if it’s hard. Use your voice, even if it trembles. Walk in your calling, even if your past tries to pull you back.

   You weren’t made just to survive—you were made to stand, shine, and shift the atmosphere around you.

   And never forget—your healing isn’t just for you. It’s hope for someone else watching, wondering if they can rise too.

   Yes, they can. And so can you.  

   
   

   
   

    Dr. Ira Roach III is the founder of Focus Forward Global Civility Movement and the Senior Pastor of the City of Refuge Church Inc. He is also a Vice- Chancellor at United Graduate College and Seminary International and founder  of Ubuntu Graduate College and International Seminary,  He holds a Doctorate in Christian Counseling, Christian Education and a Certified Christian Coach.